Monday, March 8, 2010

Fly-Aholics Anonymous


Travel Blog Rule #1: You should be traveling to post to a travel blog.

Well, shit... there goes Number One, right out the window and into my cigarette butt-laden front yard (not mine, Mom, I swear...). This is excellent! I'm going to be a GREAT travel blogger! Because I am definitely not in a state of travel right now. Sitting on my bed in the state of having a minor breakdown because of traveling? Yes. But I'm not on the road - er, in the sky - quite yet. Here's the deal: I am embarking on a 5 week English teaching adventure in Thailand tonight, which leads me to the explanation of the aforementioned minor breakdown (at least, I am telling myself it is minor). Some of you, due to my borderline-obsession and passion for travel of all kinds, may be unaware of this (rather embarrassing) fact:

I, Karissa Hochberg, am a fly-aholic.

(Hi, Karissa)

That's right. BUT WAIT -- let me explain the term 'fly-aholic' to you, because upon first seeing it one might be led into thinking, Oh, that's great! She loves to fly! She's addicted to flying!

No.

With a capital NO.

Addicted to travel? Absolutely. Addicted to being 30,000 feet in the air on a trans-Pacific flight that could send me, at any moment, crashing to my fiery and/or watery death? Hell no. Snakes, bugs, rabid polar bears? A-okay. I just really suck at flying, and every second I'm onboard the Doom Pod, I'm praying to Whomever that the pilot fucking doesn't.

So that's my dysfunction. And I guess, for those of you who want to get technical with the language of it, (you know who you are, ahem, starts with "D" and rhymes with 'rad') I'm really an "Aviophobe". I suffer from aviophobia, and it only recently developed in the last two or three years, completely out of the blue. But "fly-aholic" makes me sound like WAY less of a wuss, so I'm sticking to it.

Alright, all this talk of flying is taking the breakdown from minor to medium status, so I'm going to sign off for now... Expect a much sunnier (literally) post in the next couple days, when I reach Phuket, which I have heard through the blogosphere grapevine is the land of Seaweed-flavored Pringles, some of the world's most beautiful beaches, and Ladyboys... more on that, I'm sure, later.

Peace, love, and positive vibrations, my friends :)
Karissa

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